Weary Wednesday

Today has been one of those days where you can’t wait until it is over and you never want to see it again. If that wasn’t bad enough I am over tired, achy and really want a curry, like oh so very badly.
I had to work today, which otherwise would have been my day off, and I worked a split shift so I had a double dose of washing up duty and heavy lifting. Luckily it’s not hard to “ignore” the horrible stuff going on around me and just get on with my work whilst I’m at work.

It’s not easy when you can’t even talk to your best friend, because he is part of the problem. I feel so alone and just want to move somewhere completely different and start over again completely, new country, new living accommodation, new people. But I can’t even do that as I have no way to move anywhere new.
I feel like I am on a road to no where and have no hope of working out what I want to do or be, I have a few random thoughts about things but no idea how to get any of them to become any form of reality, I just don’t know where to start. When you’re in a loop of doom and you can’t find the way out it is hard. I have tried to keep positive but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I don’t know what to do or what to stop doing that will help any more.

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6 Thoughts to “Weary Wednesday”

  1. MizLit

    Ugh. One word for you: therapy.

    1. SazD

      Haha! Yeah, not sure there’s enough tea in China to fund that though!!! lol!

  2. Hey, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time!
    I keep thinking about writing a post for my blog, but haven’t got round to it as I’ve been bleh. I’m just working on finding things to enjoy (no matter how little). Hope that things feel better for you soon.

    1. Thanks Anita, I was having a particularly bad day (in case that wasn’t obvious!) and have little time for much other than work and sleep, which had brought me down somewhat.

      It’s almost as if acknowledging all the things above has helped me see some of the wood for the trees, a step in the right direction I think. Things have been looking up as well, I started a training course that is run by the Company my pub is part of and that by itself seems to have helped me get my head around a few of the issues by giving me something else to think about, another possible way forward and some learning and meeting a whole load of new people in a completely different environment from my local surroundings.

      Since I have been going to the gym again, I am able to let off some steam there which helps a great deal. Today I was even surprised to find my best friend had carefully picked his time to attend the gym for his work out so that he’d be there when I was. Things are not 100% OK between us but they are better, I have been amused at least twice over the past few weeks to find that people thought we’d broken up – despite the fact we are not even going out, never were and we are just friends!
      As long as Mr Fittie doesn’t think I’m taken then it’s alright, everyone else can think we’re going out if they are so sure we are, well up until Mr Fittie and I are an item anyway, wouldn’t want them thinking I’m a cheater as I am not and would not cheat on anyone ever and would also want everyone to know who I am actually with!

      Anyhow, this should probably be another post or something with the length, so as it’s a reply then I will finish by saying that I hope you get round to writing a post for your blog very soon, maybe you could do a post about some of the things you have found to enjoy? We are going to start a happiness board at work to help improve ourselves as we all seem to have been a little out of sorts lately. I might be able to find some of the things you have found to enjoy helpful to my own process and share them with work as well! I look forward to seeing such a post if you do one 🙂

  3. Valentina

    Hi,

    It’s horrible having a crappy day 🙁 I’m glad things are looking up for you. A few of my teacher friends have applied for jobs in Egypt and have upped and left – if you are looking to go to a different country perhaps apply for a teaching job? Most of the countries/schools pay for your accommodation whilst there and you get to experience a brand new culture. Just an idea in case you haven’t already thought of it (but saying that when I have a bad day I exhaust every single option possible and applying for a job as a mermaid under the sea is usually the most appealing one – then I realise I can’t swim and am doomed! Hehehe)

    Have a lovely day, sorry about the ramble!
    V xx

    1. SazD

      Ooh I LOVE that idea!!! Mermaid under the sea!!! Brilliant!!!
      Your comment has just made me smile and literally laugh very loudly – just been talking to my colleague about our shift today and know it’s gonna be a loooong busy day so very good timing!!!!!!!

      Have looked at teaching in other countries, not as yet found anywhere though. Only one I applied for didn’t get anywhere and nothing around since – until I stopped looking anyway, don’t know about now!

      Glad someone else understands my crappy day post! And thanks for the “ramble” I love it! xD

      Hope you have a fab day!
      Sx

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